Lauri Jean Crowe

Artist, Writer, Woman, Mother, Healer, Teacher, Biohacker, Gardener, Friend, Entrepreneur

My Bukowski Days Are Over

Wine Jan 13 2015 Lauri Jean CroweWine is something I appreciate but rarely drink anymore. Alcohol in general doesn’t hold the appeal for me that it once did. I no longer seek to escape my life and haven’t in many years. Although there are aspects of my life that could be more pleasant, I like living with my eyes wide open, my consciousness alert and aware and my body not feeling like it’s spinning even when it’s standing still. A lot of the credit for the change in attitude goes to my children who constantly challenge me with their bright wit and inquisitive minds. I’d hate to think how I would deal with my kid’s inquiries and personality quirks if I were still the inebriated woman I was in my early twenties, but then I chose not to deal with anything back then readily escaping into a glass or a bottle…or two.

I have a confession to make – I can’t relate to people my age who still get drunk and party on a regular basis; particularly those who drink and drive with their kids in the car. I’ve become judgmental of them and honestly look down on them and wonder when they will grow up. It’s even caused me to stop hanging out with some of my friends because what I view as their irresponsible behaviors put me on edge and I can’t relax and enjoy my time with them because I worry about the other people on the road who may encounter them after a night’s festivities. I’ve always tried to live the “to each their own” mantra but it’s become increasingly difficult over the years and I wonder if it’s that I have become responsible or just intolerant? Do I need to relax, get my panties out of a bunch and enjoy life as these same friends have told me when I’ve chosen to abstain?

I think wine, like everything in life has a time and a place. For example, a nice merlot pairs well with a good cut of venison and basil mushrooms on a bed of cut green beans steamed to perfection. It’s good for toasting a union, or other momentous celebration but I just can’t imagine myself sneaking a cheap bottle of Boone’s into the movie theater any longer, or ever drinking wine from a box. Yet, I know those who regularly do and are well into the time it can’t be blamed on youth or on yet be blamed on mid-life crisis. It’s just a part of who they are; it’s their choice and they never outgrew the behavior as I did.

Life is about choices. Choices have consequences. I choose life. It’s as simple as that and it is a fact I cannot escape, just like the fact that I hate the word panties whether they are in a bunch or kicked off onto a stranger’s floor after too much wine. Life is also about taking responsibility, and I can’t be responsible for others behavior but I can choose to escape it when I think it could have a negative impact on myself or my children. That’s one out I will take every time. My Bukowski days are over.

One comment on “My Bukowski Days Are Over

  1. oconnormonica
    February 15, 2015

    Thanks for sharing… your thoughts really resonate with me.

    Like

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This entry was posted on January 13, 2015 by in Uncategorized.

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