Artist, Writer, Woman, Mother, Healer, Teacher, Biohacker, Gardener, Friend, Entrepreneur
In 2016 I choose to leave the darkness behind. I am stepping forward into my own light and intend with every fiber of my heart, soul, mind and body to live as a shining light.
A friend messaged me last night and said “You are a beacon of light to so many!” and it wasn’t the first time I heard someone say that to me. It was the first time I really HEARD someone say it and absorbed it as my own truth.
I’ve always shied away from pictures of myself. In fact, when I had my son snap the shot in the image accompanying the post tonight night he said, “You really don’t take good pictures. Seriously, I assure you, you don’t look that bad.” I tend to wash out in photographs, the details disappear and I have always thought I look like the next in line to play the role of the Michelin Man in a live action film, or maybe a marshmallow.
Tonight I realized that maybe I don’t take bad pictures. Perhaps my soul light just shines so brightly it reflects too much. Maybe, just maybe, there are some lights you aren’t meant to stare at like a moth to the flame because they are too precious and dwelling there for too long can be dangerous. Maybe I’m just full of it, and wasn’t designed for the camera.
We don’t see the light without the contrast of the dark and I was in a very dark place most of 2015. The monsters grew in my body, in my heart, and in my mind and overwhelmed me with their poisons. They led to self-doubt brought on by living in constant pain, in constant worry, in a state of constant fear – of not knowing what was hiding around the corner and feeling helpless.
However, over the last month thanks to my friend, her magic potions and gifts of inspiration, I found my inner light again. I illuminated those dark corners of my self. I pushed the monsters back and left fear, self-doubt and worry to tend to their wounds. My heart filled with joy and I felt empowered. I started shining my light saying, “here I am” and crawling out of the cave of despair I had been living in. I once again felt compelled, no driven, to connect and offer myself to the world.
I don’t know where my path will lead. Maybe Michelin will need a live female to represent their tires, or some gluten-free marshmallow company will ask me to become their spokeswoman. I am open to all the abundance the Universe wishes to send my way.
What I do know is that my path will be bright because when you carry your own light you can’t help but be a beacon to someone, somewhere out there in the dark.
You can join me on the path, but please make it your own. Say it with me now:
Today I step out of this place of darkness and become the light…my natural state of being is abundance. I choose to shine.