Artist, Writer, Woman, Mother, Healer, Teacher, Biohacker, Gardener, Friend, Entrepreneur
Some days are not filled with rainbows, sunshine and unicorns that fart glitter. On those days we have to paint our own light. Today, I got out my Dr. Ph Martin’s inks and painted this ray of joy as a meditation to help reset my mind to something more positive.
My friend Louise mentioned perfection to me today and I’m thankful she served as the muse for this post. Perfection is a topic of conversation that comes up a lot among those in my tribe. We all either want to either be the embodiment of perfection, achieve perfection in our making and doing or expect those in our lives to be perfect in their actions, thoughts and behaviors toward us. Perfection is a hard pill to swallow, but we all keep gulping hoping to find that magic…until we don’t.
My response to Louise was to share some word play. The word “imperfect” if you add a bit of punctuation can be read as “I’m perfect”. By adding that little pause of possession we turn imperfection around. We claim it as our own. We recognize that we are all perfection in our own ways simply because of our uniqueness, our diversity, our quirks and the way we show our flaws. I said it on day 15 of this selfie project, but it bears repeating: when you look closely everything has flaws, and that includes you.
To that end, embrace your flaws, embrace your imperfection and turn it around and make it into your own I’m perfect just the way I am mantra. This doesn’t mean you stop trying to improve who you are, strive for excellence or become the best human you can. It simply means you accept the beauty of your life as it is and know deep in your soul that it’s okay not to be everyone else’s definition of you. How do you do this?
Well, you could embark on a 30 day selfie project as a reminder, but you could also think on and implement the following three strategies for embracing your unique imperfections. I call them the WWW Triple Threat or the World Wide Web of Imperfection. When you start looking at the world through this filter, you can’t help but see your imperfection as I’m Perfect and in that life changing self-acceptance way, and not the whole inflated ego, false tits plastic Barbie with a black AMEX kind of way.
No, judgment, well…maybe a little bit, but hey I am a work in progress and if that’s your weird, just embrace it, rock it and be the best you that you that you can be. There is a place for all of us in this world. Without further babbling – here’s the WWW Triple Threat to attack your perfection with:
Weird: embrace yours. We are not clones, or carbon copies. Sure we can nip, tuck, paint polish and fake our way to perfect but it is much more satisfying to accept the messiness that is our humanity and by doing so recognize the beautiful soul that we already. We all have quirks whether they are mental, physical or based on thought, action or deed.
Embrace your weird, find your tribe, be perfectly you in that group but never ever let anyone else dim your light. Remember that weird to one person is totally normal for another. Words and their validity are based on acceptance of definitions, but as Webster’s proved by putting ain’t and 10.000 other words into their 1993 edition – you can change what definitions you accept.
Wonder: look at the world like a child again. As adults it is easy to get bogged down in work, and looking to the next promotion, step on the ladder, big purchase, or other hurdle to climb to so we can compete with the Jones. We forget about the importance of play, the joy of wonder. Children look around themselves and everything is perfect because it’s new and undiscovered and no filters have been attached to muck things up.
Sunlight isn’t something to bitch about because you have to drive into it. It’s a wonder of brilliant, warm balm that warms the skin and lights up all sorts of possibilities for a child when it shines. Wonder is about opening your eyes, mind, heart and soul to the gifts the world presents in you and through you. So, take a moment and close off to the burdens of the shoulds and coulds that seem to elude you and work with what you have. It can be very freeing. Pull out some paint, go to a park, do something that would make the kid in you smile or try a new experience. Find the wonder, hold it close and you’ll see that everything is perfect if you drop your preconceived notions and let life warm you like sun kissed skin seeking adventure.
Wabi-sabi: Explore it; practice it. This Japanese philosophy is deeply ingrained in Eastern culture and has been loosely defined as finding the beauty in things that are imperfect, incomplete or impermanent. You will find it reflected in nature, art, life and learning more about this philosophy can help you appreciate your humanity by appreciating its cracks, its flaws, its constant ebb and flow of change. Living wabi-sabi isn’t for everyone, but it is something that many have found to be powerful.
Sometimes you just have to paint your own light, but that light can be painted on your perceptions and doesn’t have to be a physical manifestation. A lot of us are living under a cloud of perceived darkness in America these days, but I still hope for the light. I still hope for that twist on words that turns imperfection around instead of into a baseless ego statement, falsely crafted. Conscious effort can help us change, until then, there is art and love and life and song and simply being the best we can offer of ourselves in this moment.
Leonard Cohen is often quoted for this little ditty and it makes a great positive reminder to listen to when you are trying to embrace imperfection and find your hope:
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”